Monday, April 28, 2008

To the Woman in the Superstore Parking Lot today...

You suck. There are very very few people in this world that I experience and come across that effect me the way you did today. Your extreme lack of generosity both stumped me and angered me. You left me standing in the parking lot in disbelief and fighting back tears. I'm glad my girls were still in the car so they didn't hear me call you a fucking bitch. Cuz that's what you are. Seriously.

Okay, I know you're old. So, maybe you don't remember how difficult it is to just get out of the house with your two kids, let alone go grocery shopping. Well, let me remind you. IT'S A FUCKING CHORE, alright???? It takes all the energy, preparation and organization that I can muster and I'm usually still 10 minutes late and have forgotten something. By the time I got to the Superstore today, I had already been in the car for over an hour and made 2 other shopping stops. I was tired. The kids were getting tired. Maybe you couldn't see that I had two small children with me. But, you'd certainly have been able to hear them as you walked your cart back beside my car. You know, I've tried all day and evening to try to figure this one out; to know what the hell you were thinking. I'm left empty of reason.

It was all because I couldn't find a loonie for the shopping cart.

In my little town, it's still only a quarter. (I had lots of those.) But, when we go into the big city of Langley, I need to find a loonie for the shopping cart. Now, normally, this is the furthest thing from a problem. I mean, I sell eggs for $3/dozen. I get a TON of loonies. My pockets are usually packed with big coins.
So, I sat in the car; in the filthy crowded stinky steamed-up car, with both girls having a shrieking contest, while I searched for a loonie. My fat burner had kicked in a short time earlier, so my body temperature was up at about 104. And I had inconveniently forgot my water at home, so I was rapidly shrivelling up by the second. I looked through the coins in the ashtray, in my wallet, in the backs of the seats, in all the pockets of my HUGE Petunia Picklebottom diaper bag. Failing that, I emptied the diaper bag completely upside down; its contents sprawling across the front passenger seat, along with all of the other shit that was piled up there. Still no loonie.

But, I did have 4 quarters. I would trade somebody their cart for my quarters. Or their loonie for my quarters. easy peasy japaneasy. There were people all over the place.

I saw you and your old man loading up your minivan across from me. I saw you start to walk your cart back to the cart return, directly next to where I was parked. I jumped out of my car to intercept you with a smile. "Can I trade you my quarters for your cart? I can't seem to find a loonie."

(Now, let's just get this straight for a second here..... this isn't an unusual request. Really. You may have been blindsided by it, but it's not odd. I get it all the time. )
So, your response of "No, I need it." caught me offguard.
I clarified for you, "No, no. I have the quarters to give you. I just don't have a loonie." as I reached out the stack of quarters towards her. We were only standing a couple of feet apart. I could smell the hot dog you just scarfed down when you left the front of the store.
You walked past me to return your cart and retrieve your loonie. I should have fucking jumped you for your cart right then and there, you know? Talk about blindsiding you! ahhhh, the things we realize in retrospect, eh? But, I was in too much disbelief. Really. I stood there with my mouth agape and said, "Are you serious?"

You said, "Yes, I need it for next time."

WHAT???? Look, there's no shortage of loonies around. Have you checked your pockets and your wallet and your vehicle and pretty much everywhere? Aside from my apparent and seriously unfortunate shortage today, there's no moratorium on loonies, alright? You don't need to hoard your loonie. This isn't the fucking 1930's anymore. You'll have another one before you need to come back to the Superstore again. I can almost guarantee it. And, if not, then you better hope to hell that you find somebody that is more considerate than you were today.

I stood there shocked, watching you return to your van. I yelled out again, "Thanks a lot, lady. Thanks a lot. ............You fucking bitch."

And then I turned to the next lady, who happily received my 4 quarters in exchange for her cart.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Watch out!
What a wacko --- I swear some people have their heads up there ass.
I like to think that what goes around comes around........and that hot dog eating lady will get hers one day.
Personally, I'd complain to the store. I use to HATE the coin deposit rental cart fee up there.
They don't have it down here...I guess there aren't as many people that try to stuff a shopping cart in the car and take it off to their farm to collect eggs with.
ROTFLMAO
Sorry you had a rough day. And I hope she heard you call her a Fing Bitch.
No shopping for you today J.Rube...take a rest, break, or something......go play with bunnies and sheep.
:0)
MamaP

Magnolia said...

Oh my goooooooooooooosh!!
That is too freakin' crazy!!!
I have given my cart away....not in exchange for anything.
I admit..I do keep a quarter in my car all the time for the cart..but should I need to use it..or lose it..another comes along quite quickly.
Not nice at all!!!
However...she was an older woman..and they lose sight of the big picture sometimes.
LOL....I think the next lady gave you the cart willingly cause she saw your freak out and was afraid you'd aim it at her next. LMFAO
Terrific!!
Hope you had a better day after that.

Renee said...

Aaah - what a nasty old fart! I'm sorry you had to deal with that. Mean people suck.

-Renee

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