Friday, April 18, 2008

It's just a shitty job sometimes

While I'm standing here just now getting caught up on email, I can smell shit. I've just changed T.Rube's diaper, which is definitely in contention for being stinkier than she's ever produced before. So, I imagine that the smell is still kinda stuck in my nose. Is this even possible? For a stink to be stuck in your nose?

Not only was it the stinkiest diaper ever, it was a messy one. Probably goes hand-in-hand. (although sometimes she surprises me by popping out a few rock hard reekers. )
And not only was it messy, but the diaper ended up on the floor upside down at the end of the change table, after T.Rube kicked it. So, then, there was stinky shit on the floor, on her legs and butt, and on her feet. Did I mention how stinky this shit was???

I got everything cleaned up, got her down for her nap, and have come to the computer to check email, because I'm addicted like that. I still have my shoes and my coat on. I haven't unloaded groceries from the truck. In fact, the truck door is still wide open waiting for me.
But, checking email comes first. (as is writing this to you. Cuz I'm still standing here 30 minutes later.... )
There's the shit smell. I check the bottoms of my shoes, and the girls' boots at the door beside me. I did take the time to carefully wash my hands right after the change, but I still give them a once-over and sniff at a few spots. (apparently, they were just age spots though).

Then, when I look down, I see it on the left arm of my jacket. a smear. It's already dried even. It looks like dirt. Sure enough, it's what I'm smelling. There's shit on my arm.

WARNING: If you do not yet have children and any part of this story tweaked you or grossed you out in any way, you are not ready for a baby.

Realistically and potentially, there's shit on your arm for years.


Magnolia said...

Motherhood is really a very glamorous ordeal.

Magnolia said...

Your story reminded me of a quick story.
Short and to the point.
My dad and brother and friends..up north...May 24 weekend.
Frightened bird dive bombs and flies by and shits on my brother.
He cleans up...everyone laughs.
But..all brother keeps gagging cause he can still smell shit. (Did I mention it shit on his face?)
So...after hours of asking "do I have shit on my face still?" and everyone straight faced saying
"NO"....someone finally told my brother..."you still have shit on the side of your nose" LOL
They left him gagging and dry heaving for about 5 hours while they laughed at him before they told him.
Shit...Shart...crap....poop...Why is it such a funny topic?

"A Rural Rube"and all of its contents are protected by copyright. In order to copy or use any of the entries or photos seen in the blog, please contact me at
Copyright 2008 A Rural Rube