Saturday, April 19, 2008

To the Sweet Young Couple at McDonald's Playland yesterday....

......who weren't really a couple at all.

(Well, actually, you ARE both part of a couple, except that neither of your spouses were with you.)

I wonder if they know that you spent 3 hours sitting at a miniature table on miniature stools in a room that is overwhelmingly loud, so that "your girls could play." I only know that you spent 3 hours there because I was eavesdropping. And, I heard you say to your daughter (the only words to her the entire time I was there), " C'mon, we need to get home. We've been here for 3 hours now." So, I'm not exaggerating. Look, nobody sits for 3 hours in that space. Except for two people totally caught up in each other and holding onto every possible second together. (and the occasional selfless grandma on a rainy Saturday.)

It was so cute how you bickered over who wanted to run back up to the counter to get one of the girls more chocolate milk. I swear I heard you giggle like a girl during that interchange actually, buddy. Do you giggle like that for your wife?

I liked how genuine you sounded when the girls would return to the table and you'd suggest excitedly that they go back up and play. I don't think they're onto you at all. You're pretty safe there. For now. They looked to be about 7 though, so I wouldn't expect innocent ignorance for much longer.

I saw the way you caught each other's eyes. I even saw your knees knock into each other. (When they're up at your chest, because of the little stools you're on, they're easy to see.) So, I noticed, too, that you didn't move them apart for a long time.

In fact, I could almost see the steam coming off them. It made you both a little warm, didn't it?
(it made ME a little warm.... but, then again, it might be the hydroxycut (or, rather, the ThinRG that I started taking on Wednesday) that was doing that).

At that point, I was still actually entertaining the idea that you WERE a couple; that one of the girls was yours and the other one was her friend. And, I was, admittedly, getting a little turned on by the energy you were giving off.

And then you started talking about having cheated before.
And how you even went to therapy with your wife after the fact, because you were committed to working on it.

And you started talking about how you were uncertain how happy you really were and how your husband doesn't really cater to some of your emotional needs. (ooooohhh....big fucking revelation there, eh?? Don't think that this guy'll be any different, k??)

You are clearly interested in one another. Your energies were creating a fucking light show at the end of our mini table.
I wanted to pull you both aside at that point and yell, "STOP!!!!" Pay attention to what is happening here. Get yourselves out now.

But, what good would this be? And what good is this letter even? never able to reach its intended recipients? It's too bad. We could easily learn a thing or two from people out there in the world who have no forum for feedback. Imagine being able to tell a perfect stranger what you really think? Or having some sort of anonymous commenter ability? where we can fill out a card and submit it.
(That reminds of this website that my friend, Renee, brought to our attention that had 'johns' rating a particular girl they were with and providing comments/feedback on the service she provided to them. I wonder if reading bad comments helps motivate the girl to give a better blow job that night at work?)

In any case, if there was any way that I could get this letter to you two, I would. Just to let you know that I could see what was going on between you today and that, if it was any of my business, you should just walk away and quit entertaining the idea and the thoughts.

And, by any chance, did you step outside of your little love bubble long enough to notice me pull out the baggy of broccoli that I'd brought from home to add to my small garden salad and grilled chicken breast? Because you could just back me up here and confirm that I actually DID do that. and that I wasn't eating fries and a filet-o-fish or anything like that.
(I'd appreciate it.)

(and can you please kindly keep your girls from climbing up the slides? my oldest was a bit scared to go down because they were kinda monopolizing it.)

Thanks for your consideration


Anonymous said...

WOW -- do you feel better you got that all off your chest?
Sounds like two people that don't deserve your time or energy. I feel sorry for the two girls.

I have a question?
No related........well maybe the McDonald part.
And sorry if this is gross.

You know when you eat McDonalds or Burger King...and sometimes it doesn't sit well with you......and you wind up taking a big giant Poop afterwards......well, I'm wondering...does that mean that the fat and calories didn't count...cause ya pooped it out of your system so fast.


J.Rube said...


yes, that's exactly what it means!! Eat, eat, eat!!!
If I was as lucky as you, MaMaP, I'd eat at McDonald's EVERY day....
(some people are just lucky like that. You're evidently one of them.)

(p.s. I don't know, though, cuz I didn't just shit my salad, grilled chicken (and added broccoli) out yesterday. I waited until this morning.)

Good luck with that diet. I think that PitChick (MaMaD) would be interested in joining you on it.

Anonymous said...

Hmmm. Reminds me of a movie I rented last week. "Little Children" with Kate Winslet. Ever seen it? Highly recommend it.

Magnolia said...

I think you can imagine my opinion of the cheating thing....
But admittedly...there are times that I can understand how it might happen.
I am proud of you bringing your broccoli to McD's. Good girl.

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