Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Position of the Week.... The Blow Job



We're taking a break from the lovemaking this week and going to give our guys a sweet treat.

It's Blow Job week.

I believe that it is likely that some of you actually like giving your guy head (and do it often), some of you hate it (and don't do it ever) and some of you don't really like it, but you'll do it as the obligational and kind gesture that your partner desires once in a while or on special holidays. Or when you lose a bet.

It's a personal thing.

There's a variety of different blow job positions. You have your basic "kneel and suck" or the ever-popular "69". Of course, just having your guy lay on his back, with you over top of him is nice, too. How about the "Throat Swab" (AKA the "Upside Down Fuck Face") or the "Who's your Daddy?" (which gives HIM waaaaaay more control than we want to give him, believe me!) And then there's other acrobatic positions that we'll probably never stand a chance in hell in getting our bodies into (or out of) again!

One of the major considerations in giving a blow job has to be about swallowing - for at the culmination of a good blow job is semen. It just depends where it lands.....

Some of you will swallow and some of you won't. Again, it's a personal thing. You should probably figure out what you're wanting or willing to do about the orgasm BEFORE the deed or early on in the process, particularly and especially if you aren't willing to swallow it. Having a towel or t-shirt near by will be helpful, particularly if you stand any chance in hell of vomitting.

It's much nicer after you've been with your one partner for a while and they know what you like and what you don't like. Then, the ending isn't really such a big surprise. (particularly if you're one who doesn't swallow).

A man's semen typically equals about the amount of a teaspoon. Semen is not unhealthy, fattening (the average ejaculation is approximately 15 calories), and it will not get you pregnant. The average ejaculate contains ascorbic acid, blood-group antigens, calcium, chlorine, cholesterol, choline, citric acid, creatine, deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA), fructose, glutathione, hyaluronidase, inositol, lactic acid, nitrogen, magnesium, phosphorus, potassium, purine, pyrimidine, pyruvic acid, sodium, sorbitol, spermidine, spermine, urea, uric acid, protein, enzymes, sodium, vitamin B12, and zinc. Lots of good stuff in there, if you can stomach it.

One of the key things that makes a good blow job good, above all, is to be sexy, comfortable and let your guy know that you LOVE doing this for him, even when you don't. There is nothing that can kill the mood more for your guy than KNOWING that you're forcing yourself into this and can't wait to get it over with (even when you are!). So, find your porn pose and throw your whole self in. Approach it with a positive attitude and be creative! Make your guy believe that there is nothing more important in the world for you at that moment than his penis.

Use your tongue and your lips and your hands in all sorts of different ways. You can buy a number of different books on the subject of penis pleasing. One of my faves is "Tickle his Pickle" by Sadie Allison, my most popular selling book.


There are a whole bunch of fun techniques to try - because it really really is the variety that makes it enjoyable. If you just do the same old motion over and over again, it is likely to not do the trick, or at least not give you the reputation of giving great head! Just when he's enjoying what you're doing, pull back again, and tease him a bit with your tongue. Then when he least expects it, take it as deep as you can. Use your fingers to play with his balls, and the shaft of his penis.

On the subject of depth.... the gag reflex is a very real thing for us. Some of us have it worse than others and sometimes it is worse than other times. It can certainly help or hinder a good fellatio act. The good news is that a good blow job DOES NOT consist of repetitive deep throat action. Variety is the spice of life. So, you are likely to be able to throw 2 or 3 deeper thrusts in there before the gagging kicks in. Then give yourself a break.... before going in again.

I'm going to show you some fun and helpful blow job accessories in another post today, and I have the perfect medicine for your gag reflex!! (it makes the thought of going to the dentist a pleasurable experience!)
You are in control here. That is what makes this sexual position so freakin' special....having your guy like a piece of putty in your hands (well...okay, that's a bad expression for this particular activity... how about ..like a big hard salami in your mouth? zucchini?).

Tease him, taunt him...

and make sure you are well prepared for the arousing finish.

What do the Chaws have to say about this, I wonder? I'm almost afraid to look.....

Mama Bear says: I have been known to provide a blow job in order to make sex go quicker. Working on him and getting him almost to the finishing point before hopping on just so we can get it over with. (Let's face it, sometimes a quickie is all you are in the mood for)
I've also given them just because I love to see the looks on his face. I know I'm pleasing him and that is a huge turn on for me.
I have given them in lieu of sex when I still had my period, or when I was restricted during pregnancy if I was in the mood, but just wasn't allowed to actually have sex.
I prefer NOT to swallow, but have on occasion. If there is no towel handy, I'd rather just swallow it than have to do laundry.
This can be done anywhere at anytime privacy is available. Men have it lucky. They can whip it out and tuck it away with barely any disrobing. They can stand, sit, lay down, (stay, beg, roll over). No wonder they love it so much.
The best part of blow jobs in my opinion? My husband is happy to reciprocate. :)

KittyKat says: Mama Bear took my bit about swallowing. I was going to say it was better to swallow than clean up the sheets, the floor, the bed or myself. So do I go with the pearl necklace? Nah. Not my thing.


Totally off topic, but this picture points out another serious issue. To trim or not to trim? For males or females a little landscaping is always nice. A nasty pube stuck in the back of your throat is enough to kill any buzz. (orange juice usually helps clear the caught pube) There are many products on the market from wax (ask J.Rube about that one) to trimmers to creams. My personal favorite is Magic Cream. Made for black mens beards it also works like majic to do a little girlscaping too.
Back on topic...BJ's are nice because they can happen anywhere. Driving down to road, for example. Or in the in-laws bathroom. I've never figured out a "technique" but hubby seems happy with my style.

HollywoodChaw says: "I prefer NOT to swallow, but have on occasion. If there is no towel handy, I'd rather just swallow it than have to do laundry." Can I just say that I would want this on a bumper sticker?? FUCKING HILARIOUS. Words to live by. Oh, and did you know that the average man's ejaculate has as much protein as a pork chop? Great dieting tool.


And for those ladies who aren't thrilled with the taste of dick:Put a wintergreen lifesaver on your tongue, and go to work. Good taste for you, tingles for him!

Delish says: Ok I just told SwatBoy the pork chop info. His response: "The road to vitality is paved with semen" He thinks it would be a great addition to my get healthy and lose weight lifestyle. He's just looking out for my health apparently...it is about me not him...now standing in front of me with his junk hanging out.
thanks for this girls. we needed it!
must try the lifesaver trick...the smell of sperm totally gags me (no matter how much I've had to drink)

TR says: We stayed away from bj's for a looong time (I think it was years, in fact), and that was fine with me. I was never a big fan. (I give a mean hand job, though, which we used when I was out of commision or just not in the mood for intercourse, or just for a change.) I'm not a swallower, despite my great intentions and valiant efforts to do so. It just doesn't work for me. Very involuntary gag reflex, very yucky, and very much not happening. However, we've found this kinda blowjob/hand job hybrid that's been working really well for us lately, and I'm getting requests for that special service several times a month now. We start out with a standard bj for a few minutes, then move into a standard hj with some KY for a few more minutes, and then when it's almost over, I add in a little mouth action again to really enhance the experience for him. I've figured out how to kinda have my mouth/face in the general vicinity just at the right time so that it feels like he's coming in my mouth, but he isn't really. And if some does get in my mouth, I just kinda discreetly let it come back out. He's loving this technique, so I think it's a keeper. We put a towel down before we do this, because it gets messy there at the end and I like to have a towel handy to clean up the mess (on him and me).

Squeaky VanDusit says: It is definitely part of our regular sex routine. But, I don't ever finish him off this way. Like MamaBear, we use it as warm-up or foreplay before having intercourse. It creates a nice natural lube for insertion. This body doesn't need any of that pork chop protein, thank you very much. I'll stick with the pig for that. On occasion, I'll let him shoot my face, so long as he tries to stay clear of my eyes....


Yikes. I hope you weren't reading this one at work. It's a bit x-rated. just a bit. But, you know it's Hump Day, so it's your own damn fault if you do.....

15 comments:

Magnolia said...

Though I do this...probably not as much as he'd like...I do not swallow. I did in a previous relationship and it was fine. However...the first and last time with my husband was gross and I vomited. So...no more of that. He seems pretty comfortable in telling me what he wants and how to do it...so we are good. And he does reciprocate...so it's a win win. I have gotten it in the eye once or twice and have had to use the "I have pink eye" exuse to cover up the red eye I sport for a few days. I also enjoy the "tit fuck' as an alternative.

Sue

Anonymous said...

For the girls who don't like swallowing try snowballing your partner!It will either end the debate of you swallowing or mabye open a new door.

J.Rube said...

Hey, Anonymous! Try that with me, buddy, and it'd be the last time that penis came anywhere near my mouth...
although maybe snowballing YOU with my strong set of pearly whites isn't a bad idea.....

Magnolia said...

Ummm...just me? What's snowballing? I really feel out a the loop.

J.Rube said...

I'm pretty sure that it was a guy recommending to the guys that they just orgasm in their girl's mouth, whether she likes it or not.... "snowball her" meaning "catch her off guard, when she's not expecting it..."

Anonymous said...

I am a man,giving us head is easy,were guys, not to complicated.What about giving a women head now thats a topic!!!!Women are not as vocal as guys.If you want to fly a plane at least there is a manual.Tell us

Anonymous said...

Actually, "snowballing" is having the man orgasm in their girl's mouth...and then French kissing that girl, taking some of their own sperm back.
Interesting...

Anonymous said...

Great post

R, Aron
my site

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