Monday, March 17, 2008

Rabbits have it all figured out

Did you know...

1) ..a rabbit's gestation cycle is one month? One friggin' month!!!! Imagine getting to be pregnant
for one friggin' month?! ***

2) ..immediately after shooting their wee ones out, the rabbit mom flees the nest?And returns ONCE EVERY 24 HOURS FOR FIVE MINUTES to nurse their babies. Imagine how much we could get done in that 23 hours. Imagine how much sleep we could have in that 23 hours. How well-exercised and coiffed we might be, how well-dressed from our shopping trips and how much fun we could still be having at the bar with friends. Imagine how clean our houses might be. and how much uninterrupted computer time we could have.

Imagine how our boobs might still look.

3) ..the rabbit mom is free of her mothering duties within 3-4 weeks of giving birth?
This one speaks for itself. Basically, before we're even able to shit freely again, they're done with the entire process.

Which does bring me to the one obvious flaw in their whole system: The average female rabbit gets pregnant 10 times a year. bbwwahhhaaahhaaaahhaa

No thank you. You can have your conception plan and you can keep it. I'll take the 9 months and the sleepless nights and the lifetime commitment of blood, sweat and tears. (for the record, I won't just accept the boob part, though. or the stomach flap, for that matter, while we're on the subject of physical abnormalities. We gotta address those parts of the plan; maybe talk to somebody about getting that part changed.)


*** This reminded me (a bit bitterly) of my friend who didn't know she was pregnant for 5 months. I thought she had the shortest pregnancy ever in history. It was only 4 months long, similar to that of a goat!
I was wrong - apparently the rabbit's is shorter.


Ma-Ma Peg said...

So, are you adding rabbits to the Rube Farm?
Also -- can you imagine the Mommy Bunny and how many pictures she'd take in one year of her babies.
Naturally there would be a million of the first pregnancy...probably none by the 10th. LOL
Why am I talking about bunnies?????

J.Rube said...

Yes, we have added rabbits to our farm recently. Flemish Giants are the breed. We just had our very first litter born and had no idea what to do!
It was in my rapid-fire research last night that I learned about a rabbit and her kits.

That first litter will have an awesome scrapbook and then all subsequent bunnies will have nothing.... Just like poor little T.Rube.

Ma-Ma Peg said...

Well.....I guess congratulations are in order for the Rube Farm Family.
Looking forward to seeing the scrapbook.....LOL

Dr. Jed said...

Yes i saw the giant bunny in this tiny cage...but she seemed quite content..I don't think she realises that she will be Easter Dinner though!!

J.Rube said...

yah yah, poor rabbit. Actually it'll be her cute bunny offspring that'll end up on someone's table.

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