Wednesday, March 26, 2008

HUMP DAY! Your Position of the Week is: CRAZY CRISS CROSS

Here's what you've been waiting for. You know you have.

Our position for the week is:
The Crazy Criss Cross!

Pretty unconventional, eh? I'm taking you guys a little out of your element this week. It's not one of those natural positions that you're going to just flow into - that's for sure. You'll have to stop what you're doing and actually plan to get into place. I suggest that the girl lay down on your back or side and spread those legs! And then let your guy slide into place, accommodating himself as he needs to, in order to keep you both comfortable. (If you're trying to figure out who the guy is and which one is the girl in the picture here, don't waste your time. You could be in the fucking position already! It doesn't matter!)

And you're definitely going to want to wash your feet because they could easily end up closer to your nose than you normally prefer.

You'll note, in this position, that your guy's rod (teeheeeheee) has to be pulled down farther than he (or it) is accustomed to. Many of our most common and popular (and regularly overused!!) positions involve that the penis be directed at a 90 degree right angle, or less. (think standard missionary; think doggie...) Now, imagine pulling the penis downward, so that a man standing up would have his penis attempting to point at the floor. Some of the positions that I will offer you over upcoming weeks may require the penis to attempt angles that appear to be unlikely, painful, even impossible. But, they're not. ..unlikely, painful or impossible. It does appear that the penis could easily snap off, but apparently it doesn't. ( I am sure there are times where we have all wished to try.) I have had some people tell me that their guy's penis doesn't bend down enough to find a position like this comfortable. But, the penis is a muscle and is made up of muscles that can be worked, and stretched and developed. It's worth exploring, in my opinion.

The good thing about this position is that you can alter it enough to make it comfortable, though, even if it doesn't end up looking exactly like this. (God help you if you DO look like this actually. Blockhead. Pinebrain. Woody.)

After reading the reviews below, you might be less likely to give this one a shot. But, I recommend that you give it a try anyway. For a couple of reasons.
1) It really will make your relationship better. Even if the position itself fails you, you'll have talked about it and laughed about it and tried something a bit different for a change.
2) Just by committing to this weekly process with the rest of us, you'll be better for it. And committing means trying it out. Like diet, like exercise, like housecleaning..sometimes we all need a little organization and structure and suggestion and motivation in order to kickstart it again. Let this weekly position do that for you. Let your guy in on the game, too.

Here's what some of the Chaws are saying about it:

Mama Bear says: This position can be tricky to get into. It can be physically straining (by that I mean on your legs, hips, back, etc) if you don't do it just right. Once you do get yourself situated, it leaves lots of opportunity for self play, which is a plus. It doesn't give very deep penetration though. It is a good "once in awhile" position if you want to mix things up and take it slower, but as for a day to day thing, it's not a "favorite" of ours.

Squeaky VanDusit: We didn't think too much of this one. My guy, who has incredible penis flexibility couldn't really get comfortable because he was being yanked down. We kind of readjusted things a bit and then he just stayed still, while I was able to diddle myself and kind of ride him. I liked the feeling of being in between his legs. It was definitely a decent position for me to be in and I had a wicked orgasm.
Then, we had to switch positions for him to finish.
So, some benefits (for me!!) and some downfalls (for him!!).

Lady and the Tramp Stamp says: We tried this last night, but had a hard time getting it to work so we just ended up going at it like we normally do. Honestly, we didnt give it much of a chance. We were kind of, um, in the moment so to speak and just gave up so we could get on with the fun part. I have tried this position before, though and it is great, especially when pregnant.

KittyKat says: It was awkward. We spent a lot of time trying to get into position, which killed the mood. I found that it was better for him to lay flat on his back and I was tilted sideways riding him. It was better when I was in control. We also switched to a different position after a few minutes.
I'm not crossing this position off the list - it may get better after some practice. But I'm not putting it into my favorites.
TomKat wants to know what is next.

Well, you just tell TomKat that he'll have to wait for a few days for that one.

Okay, so not a big hit. I agree with MamaBear - this is not a position of depth. Unlike last week's doggie. It could be a very nice way to start out though, as it seemed to please the girls a bit now, didn't it?


AppleTree 43 said...

Nah -- I'll pass for now.
This might be a good vacation try --- but for now, after a long workday, workweek--- I don't think I energy for it.

Anonymous said...

It's Linda, your anonymous commenter. I'm a little disappointed as I don't think I'll be able to try this one. DH is not exactly well endowed and I kind of see that being a problem here. We generally settle on me on top and occasionally doggie style. I want to mix it up a little. Think about it for next Wednesday--maybe you have a suggestion or 5....

J.Rube said...

What kind of spirit is this??? What kind of attitude is this???
You are precisely the reason why this weekly exercise is CRUCIALLY important.
Now, quit making up excuses and assumptions, and try it. Even if it is on a Saturday (Appletree!) or even if it doesn't work and you end up in a giggling heap (Linda!).

You guys have to agree to be more positive about this or you're not allowed to take part. so there.

Anonymous said...

The label for this had me laughing my ass off....... "Criss Cross applesauce, semen running down my leg, tight squeeze little breeze now you've got the shivereeze"

Do you have a little cheerleader outfit to go with that?


J.Rube said...

oh, you betcha, Autumn!
I was Miss Etobicoke Cheerleader 1986, if you must know.

Magnolia said...

Oh my gosh!!!!
I play criss cross with my kids all the time.
It will never be the same.LOL

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