Well, that's over with. And the Butt Doctor found nothing up there save for a couple of little hemorrhoids, an old boot, and a thumb. I think I have a feeling I know where the boot came from. But, the thumb! The thumb baffles me.
It is neither good news or bad news that he didn't find anything conclusive. It was kinda just an examination to rule out a thing or two.
The whole afternoon procedure ran as comfortably and smoothly as Ex-Lax. In fact, after Sunday's starvation, exhaustion and did-I-mention-a HORRIBLE headache, I felt great on Monday, even though I couldn't even have a drop of water all day, until after the procedure at 5 pm. I would have gladly licked the rain droplets that gathered on the hood of the dirty car as we left for the hospital. The upside to this state of dehydration is that I'd stopped peeing out of my butt early that morning.
The nurse settling me onto my gurney into my gown behind my curtain was friendly and comforting; remarking that I would be way too young to have experienced any of the long list of ailments I had to say I'd never had, including heart disease, heart attack, stroke, cancer, hip surgery, hip replacement, high blood pressure and dentures, bridges, and partial bridges, and then covering me with an incredible warm heavy cotton blanket. The next nurse wheeling me into the Operating Room smiled lovingly when our eyes met, and sang a song about Rainbows and Sunshine to me as we entered the sterile room, before administering me a good shot of sedation. The third nurse, who looked remarkably like the cartoon nurse in our picture here below, commented on how lovely and healthy my skin looked.
It was almost like the Butt Doctor wasn't even in the room.
I drifted off to some other realm within seconds of the sedative entering my body and before I could finish the sentence, "Is that the sedative you're putti...."
I didn't feel a thing and woke up comfortably 40 minutes later.
I'm thinking that next time, I'll ask to do it without the sedation. With all the good lovin' that the nurses provide, it could be a memorable experience. right?