There's no goddamn way that I'm going up to the movie store with Jungle Book 1 and 2 in my hands and my tail between my legs. I would seriously end up freaking out on the guy if I did.
Our movies are late back so the young man at the video store wouldn't rent a movie to B.Rube just now.
"You have got to be fucking kidding me!", I said when B.Rube told me that I'd have to drive to the movie store with the late ones before they would rent us any new ones.
I mean, a few points to the young man behind the counter....
1) They are Jungle Book 1 and 2, which are like what?? fifteen years old?? Seriously? You have a waitlist for those ones or something?
2) They were 88 cents to rent for the whole friggin' week. We'll pay for another week, if you like?? Hell, how much are the movies themselves worth to you? We'll just buy them.
3) We've been renting movies weekly from you for 7 years now. Where the hell is your commitment to your most loyal customers?
4) We chronically bring our movies back late to you and immediately pay our fines. More than once, you have double-charged us, and, even then, we paid.
5) It is customers like us that make up for your 88 cent fees, and allow you to stay in business.
6) You make like $8.50/hr and clearly the most important part of your job is implementing late policies.
7) And that's as important as it's going to ever get, too. Sucker.
8) I'm pretty sure that last piercing you got in that odd place at the top of your nose between your eyes hit a bitch nerve in you that you're now unable to shake. I'd also check for metal poisoning, if I were you. (and thank friggin' god I'm not.)
9) It's bad for business. You're bad for business.
10) I'm going to spit in the cases before I hand-deliver these babies back to you.