Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Crying over the ROTTEN spilt milk

After the first night of searching, I had resigned myself to believe that the smell was dead, rotting starlings stuck in the fireplace flue. You might think that an odd guess, but it's an annual Spring event for us here, so it was a reasonable one. The smell was slightly different than I remember from past years, however. And I haven't yet heard the wing flapping panic that occurs in the few days before they die.

It came on rather suddenly and with a force. It was like a totally overwhelming smell of puke. We were convinced that the little dog had thrown up something nasty somewhere and began our sniffing search. We were a sight to be seen, I imagine; crawling around on our hands and knees with our noses to the ground and the sound of deep nasal inhalations, similar to a beagle searching out the smell of rabbit. Low to the ground, we searched the house, smelling cushions, blankets, carpets, clothing and couches, and, although able to pinpoint an approximate area near the upstairs fireplace, we were unsuccessful in finding the offensive odour.
Before going to bed that night I remembered the starling Springtime ritual, and concluded that the smell was dead rat birds in our chimney.
I left a note for B.Rube that he'd have the fun job of removing the rotting birds.


Last night as I was tucking S.Rube into her bed in the loft, not far from the chimney, the smell fucking hit me. And I actually gagged. But I started the deep nasal sniffing again, getting closer and closer to the ground and eventually the smell, but was still unable to find it. I finally enlisted the help of B.Rube to take over the job of the beagle. Clearly this wasn't dead birds in the chimney.
And he found it......
An old sippy cup that, at one time, had contained the remnants of chocolate milk, and a drop, the size of a pea, that had leaked onto the carpet.
DISGUSTING. and very hard to get out. I couldn't believe the power of the stink. That shit is strong; like, it was rapidly taking over the house! Getting rid of the rat birds would've been soooo much easier than getting this out. It buries itself deep into the carpet and underlay. and it breeds, faster than rabbits.

I cleaned it with warm soapy water and then sprayed the hell out of it with some Nature's Miracle, after I made S.Rube open the cup and look inside.

And, to think, I actually like eating stinky cheese.

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