Friday, October 31, 2008

Dear Madonna

I was at your show last night in Vancouver. This is the first time you've ever played in Vancouver, which was so super exciting for people in our city who have been amongst your biggest fans since we were children. Apparently, you weren't as excited as we were. For you failed to mention the long overdue visit. Or acknowledge us at all really, except for yelling "vancouver rocks" once or twice.

The following are some of my criticisms of your performance last night:
(and, don't get me wrong, I had a great time with great friends and waaaay too much alcohol and I mostly danced all night long.)

1. The show was to begin at 7:30 pm. That's what our tickets said. You showed up just before 9:45 pm or so. This wouldn't be so bad, except that you provided us with no opening act or entertainment of any sort during this waiting period. There wasn't even music playing for us. Nothing.
2. Quite frankly, your voice sucked. I know the sound system at BC Place is amongst the worst in the world. (and they better do something about that before the 2010 Olympics or the whole world will know that it's the worst in the world.) But, really, your voice sucked. There were songs where you saved yourself by only singing every 7th or 8th word and, thankfully, the pre-recordings and digitalizing disguised this really well.
3. There are two things that everyone waits for, expects and LOVES at a concert (I'll talk about the second one in a minute). One of them are those moments when the performer stops performing for a minute or two, and actually, really and truly SPEAKS to the audience. It is what makes the live experience so special. It's what you kinda live for at a concert. We can watch you on a screen or a video or a DVD anytime. Hearing you actually speak to us, for us to see how real you are, for us to be worthy enough of your time....would have been nice.
4. Along the same lines.... You've never been to our city before. Ever. This is unbelievable. And your Vancouver fans were desperate for you- your concert sold out of our HUGEST venue in 3 minutes flat. Only the Rolling Stones require this venue. But, you didn't acknowledge it. You didn't say, "wow - it's great to finally be here in Vancouver with you!!" or "Fuck, it's been too long, Vancouver!" Nothing.
5. Did you really need so many costume changes? You were gone about 6 times for the length of an entire pre-recorded song. I found myself bored during these intervals.
6. And, finally, my biggest beef: the ENCORE. or lack thereof, I guess. I had read online prior to the show here that you were doing no encore on this tour. The least you could do, though, is to thank your fans for coming, tell them to drive home safely and tell us (lie to us even!!) that's it been a pleasure to be here.... SOMETHING. something. You needed to say something to us. And not just leave us standing clapping, whistling and yelling for 15 minutes before the house lights came back up and we realized that you really weren't coming back. You didn't say goodbye, You left us hanging. You didn't thank us for 25 years of service!
Better than that, even, do the encore. Would it kill you? To come back out, live, without pre-recorded crap even, and do one big hit to make your fans happy? It's a pretty simple thing to do to make 40000 people happy. Come out for one more fucking song.

Yeah, you disappointed me.

My favourite part, by far, was that steamy kiss with the female dancer that you had. Feel free to add more of that to your show. And, I liked your rocker version of Borderline - that was pretty cool. And, of course, Like a Prayer was fun.

But, really. I think we deserved more respect. I know I lost a little for you last night.


Madonna, who.... said...

I think that the whole night was a fantastic birthday gift however! Thanks for the evening!!! She (who shall remain unnamed) was just a part of the great time!

Don't forget about how good we look!!!

Magnolia said...

Terrific that you got to see her. I would have been pissed too if she came out that late. What does she think she is? Royalty? Bitch!

I agree though...that you looked great....friends too...and that was what the night out was really about.

Good stuff J.Rube!!!

Anonymous said...

I'm so excited that you all got to go to the concert.....
I hope Madonna gets a peak at your blog. She's such a snobby bitch.

Winsome said...

I think I was too awestruck to notice any of the negatives.

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