Sunday, February 27, 2011

The Problem with Male Animals

The problem with male animals is, quite simply, that they're male animals. And the problem I see with this is two-fold. One is that they have a natural penchant for domination, particularly if you've left their 'manhood' intact. And the second is that they piss on everything.

I swore this year when Beeser died (our male American Bulldog) that I will never own a male dog again. I remember standing at the kitchen window washing eggs and watching him outside peeing on everything; from the playground to the lawn chairs to the garbage cans to the side of the house, barns and truck, the kids' toys, their bikes. Everything.

Even our human male species have this issue. Given the opportunity to pee outside or pee in the toilet, you know that most men will choose the great outdoors. I've known men to leave the confines of their home in order to pee outside. and I've certainly had guys around the farm working all day long on barn-building or clearing who have never come inside to ask to use the facilities.
A number of years ago, I had a friend visit from Toronto who stayed with us in the basement for a week. When I cleaned up the room after he left, I found his urine in a large clear blown glass vase that I had sitting on the fireplace mantle. I suspect that after a night of drinking, he saw this as a suitable receptacle to pee in. I disgustedly threw the vase in the garbage immediately, and must admit that I've never spoken to him again. I've talked about this with guys since then who admit to peeing in things, though. I have a friend who operates a big excavator who doesn't leave his vehicle for his entire 10 hour shift. It makes me wonder how many guys are peeing in an empty pop bottle as you pass them on the highway.
I guess they do it because they can.

Kinda like a male goat can pee on its own head. So it does.
Have you always wondered what that musky odour was? Well, wonder no more. A buck lowers his head and lets out his penis - which is like a long skinny curly coil - and shoots urine out all over the top of his head. At least I hope it's urine... because, now on second thought, I'm thinking it could be ejaculate. Which, even for me, is a bit too much to contemplate right now. Especially considering what I'm about to tell you. After covering his head with this stuff, he then butts up against and rubs all over the other animals.
And all over me. Which is the inspiration and reason for this post this afternoon.

One of our bucks has been a real pain-in-the-ass lately; exerting his dominance and butting his horny head all over me when I'm out there doing the chores (and trying to take vulva pictures.) Today, after fighting him for a half hour, he finally put his head down, and I thought he was going to leave me be. I realized though, as I looked down, that the bugger was peeing on his head. and on me! I jumped out of the way and packed in my photography quest for the day.


THELMA said...

He is pretty darn handsome when you don't have to smell him. Great photo, J. Rube.
You know that I am DYING to know which To. friend did the vase peeing...UNREAL!

J.Rube said...

Thelma, I think we were living together at the time.... u'd probably even remember the vase in fact.

thelma said...

I'm stymied...

(I think that's the first time that I've ever used that word)

Hiromi said...

The life of a farm girl... I'll keep my senses out for that musky smell, and make sure you're not running over to hug me ;)

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