I was sitting around sharing an incredible meal at Tao in Vegas a couple of months ago with friends, and the conversation turned to The Fuck List. My friends explained to me that this was a list of names that you compile with your spouse/partner - a list of the celebrities that, if given the chance, your partner would want to fuck and you would allow your partner to fuck. (Because, let's face it... it ain't ever gonna happen.)
Well, I don't have a list. And neither does B.Rube and it isn't anything that we've ever talked about before even. My friends asked who would be on my list, if I were to have one. After thinking about it for a moment, I had to admit that I didn't have anyone to put on my list. (most likely the reason why I don't have one to begin with.) My friends argued that this wasn't possible and insisted that there HAD to be someone famous that I would want to fuck.
Still, I came up blank.
I've never been one to idolize stars or create dreamy scenarios where I meet a celebrity, lock eyes, and proceed to find the nearest broom closet or bathroom stall. In fact, I've never wanted anyone who hasn't wanted me. If you don't want me (and CERTAINLY if you don't even know I exist!!), lusting after you is truly a waste of my valuable time.
So, I held my ground and offered no names.
Then, a few weeks ago while surfing the net, I saw the celebrity athlete that I would add to my Fuck List. Cheryl Bernard, Canada's hottest and most well-known curling skip.
Slightly peculiar pick perhaps. Not the first, second or even thirty-fourth name that one might come up with for me and my List. But, damn, she does it for me. She just does.
And the girl's got guns!! And, I, a strong weakness for women's incredible arms....
And, if the arms alone didn't capture you, this one's gotta arouse a dirty thought or two.
Fine Canadian specimen.
So, last night, I was at the Canucks game, with one of the same Vegas friends with whom this conversation originated. And just before the game, the Fuck List popped into memory and I excitedly told my friend that I had recently realized that I DO have someone for my List and told her about Cheryl. She had the usual shocked reaction that the couple others I've shared this with had. But, you can't really dispute someone's choices. So, she kinda smirked and nodded and found it all very interesting, I suppose.
And, right about then, the Canucks announcer began introducing some Olympic athletes onto the ice and ....there she was...."Cheryl Bernard"....!!
With hope building and eager persistence, I spent the next 150 minutes scanning the boxes and seats for another glimpse. To no avail.
I decided overnight to turn my Fuck List into my Bucket List... you know, to appease that competitive side of me and give me something to work towards. To make this List worthwhile.
I may have to take up curling.
(ANDDD...not only is B.Rube okay with my List, he even said he wouldn't mind watching. Shocking.)