I believe in life there are messengers. And that they come disguised as just about anybody and that they offer you a lesson when you're least expecting it. You can be ready and realize it, or you can remain oblivious and continue through life with your blinders on.
Thelma and I, together, met one of our messengers on Friday night in an unlikely form.
Thelma was having a tough week, as previously mentioned. She was disappointed and disillusioned and wanted a good night out. I warned her in advance that she might not like to hear what I have to say, as I am known to challenge my friends' issues and present them with a positive side that isn't always easily acceptable. We had great discussion through the night (in between the air surfing and butt wagging.) I went on my POSITIVITY rampage (which some of you are familiar with) and I could see Thelma making sense of it, I think (she's a very smart woman, you see.)
I could still see that skepticism, though, too.
And the belief that somehow she'd be 'settling' if she simply accepted her life the way it is. A resignation of sorts.
At some point later in the evening, we had joined tables with two other women, and Thelma and I popped outside for a few minutes. On the way back inside, Thelma grabbed her water bottle from the car, which seemed to be shaped remarkably like a purple metal Barney penis,with a smooth round white head on the top. We were laughing like 14-year-olds and Thelma rubbed the smooth head on the top, commenting how much she liked that part.
We rejoined the women we were with and realized that 2 guys had joined them in our absence. One of them was a guy named Rick - he introduced himself to us quickly. Rick then looked at Thelma's water bottle and says something like, "Look at the top of that water bottle. I like it."
Now, as bizarre as this sounds, for Thelma and I, it was a sign.
(What I believe happens, you see, is that we are first given a sign that we can either notice or not notice. If we choose to notice the sign, we are also likely to get the message that is to follow. If we don't notice the sign, the message will likely not be apparent to us either. The sign provides validation to the message you are going to get. So, pay attention to the signs. They're important.)
In this particular instance, Rick was a 45-year-old drunk, who was desperately looking for a woman, and had no problem asking us directly if we were available or not. When he learned we were not available, he moved on.
But, not before giving us his message.
So, to recap: the sign for us was the water bottle comment. It wasn't just a coincidence. It made us take note and pay attention. It alerted us to the weirdness of what was happening. My heart started pounding and I was shaking slightly even. It was intense and it was very profound.
Because, what happens next, out of nowhere, out of context, Rick starts talking about complete positivity, about finding the strength in everything he sees, about looking for the best in people and circumstances, about switching his perspective on something that might otherwise be deemed as tragic, about being the hero rather than the victim, about moving on from the shit that has previously befallen him, about celebrating each day with all that you're blessed with. It was FUCKING INCREDIBLE. Rick validated everything I so powerfully believe. He said things that were precisely what I had said to Thelma not an hour earlier.
Now, speaking of Thelma.... She,understandably, was freaked out too, and awesomely aware that we were experiencing a unique moment. We didn't even need to hear what he was saying at that point, because we got the message loud and clear........
We're not settling. We're living our perfect lives. Just because they are ours. We can choose to wake up every morning and pay attention to all of the things that are missing, and take notice of what our partners fail to provide.
Or we can choose to wake up every morning and be acutely aware of what we DO have and be absolutely grateful for all of it. My choice is easy.
And then Rick was gone, as quickly as he'd arrived. The whole thing was blessed. insanely blessed.
A messenger can take many forms. Ours was a slightly slimy, desperate, lonely drunk guy in a bar after midnight on a Friday night. Easy to have tuned him out. Easy to have avoided him. Easy to have dismissed what he was saying.
But, we got it.
Believe me, we got it.