Monday, May 23, 2011

Keepin' Portland Weird (and Nasty!!)

Out of fairness to Portland, which I believe to be an awesome hip city, Brenda and I rolled in late in the day on a Sunday and were only staying one night. Clearly Sunday in Portland is the time to come down from your crazy weekend and not be looking to crank it back up! It was pretty damn quiet. This was unfortunate for Brenda and I, as we had just finished our half marathon in Eugene, had been refraining from alcohol for a while, and were looking forward to letting go a bit that night. I think to give the city's night life proper justice, a Friday and Saturday night would be key. Unless you're a beer lover, in which case the numerous micro-breweries on every other block would be right up your alley!

Just south of the city, right off the highway, we couldn't resist a stop at this class-A restaurant... Wanker's Corner ....all I could think of was the chef and his special sauce ingredient. Wanker's Corner? I don't want to know what happens in the wanker's corner.  So, we drove on, despite our grumbling tummies.

We arrived in the downtown core a short time later and checked in to our very nice little boutique-style hotel in the Pearl District, also known as the Brewery District, which is very similar to Vancouver's Yaletown, we decided. The hotel is The Mark Spencer and has a few notable bonuses that include: a smokin' deal found through Living Social, a daily FREE WINE happy hour in the little atrium lobby, free Wi-Fi, is pet-friendly, and its full suites are furnished to make you comfortably feel as though you've stepped into your grandma's (or great-grandma's) little apartment.

So, after getting flushed and giggly on local wine (which took no time for our dehydrated bodies to absorb!), we set out to explore the little downtown area. It was a rare sunny warm evening and we walked to the water, which reminded us a lot of our hometown Vancouver. You could definitely feel the city's "cool factor" reeks of cool, even on a quiet Sunday night. One of the things that I LOVED and so wish that Vancouver would consider doing are the food carts! There are blocks of food carts all over the city. You can check out their website for the types of carts available and a map to their locations.

Portland prides itself on being weird and I totally dig that.

And then, added to the weird factor, things started to get nasty, as the sun started to set....
Hung Far Low chinese? What's hung far low? How low? Why am I getting visuals of my donkey's schlong dragging in the dirt?
Dirty Pie pizza? Why does it have to be dirty? What's wrong with Spicy Pie or Cheeky Pie. The only thing worse than Dirty might be Cheesy. Don't eat Cheesy Pie. ick.
 Saucebox? Maybe they can hook up with Wanker's Corner and create the ultimate dip.

And then we finally found Oregon's pride and joy... Voodoo Doughnuts, where the magic is in the hole!!

Weird and nasty marketing campaign! ( you know I love it!!)
but slightly confusing....
I'm not sure that, especially coming from a pink box, VD is a good thing.
Not so completely appetizing.

But, hmmmmm and mmmmmm, look at their yummy strange doughnuts!
This is the famous maple bacon one.
And you can be sure to find a doughnut with your favourite cereal topping it's a Froot Loop and a Cocoa Puffs, and I see a Skittles one back there. I would go for a Capt'n Crunch Berries one myself. (even though I know it's gonna cut the roof of my mouth to shit!)

So, being as we were in the city known for 1)being weird, 2)good coffee (what Pacific Northwest city doesn't pride themselves on their coffee?) and 3)microbreweries, we settled on a brewery to end our night.
Despite both being non-beer drinkers, we went to Deschutes Brewery for a bite to eat and to sample some beer.
We chose a Sampler, wrote down our choices, and opened our minds and tastebuds to the experience.
Brenda's face speaks for both of us.

Needless to say, we left our glasses almost full and decided that a tequila brewery is way more our style.
Tijuana, here we come!!!!
(there's gotta be a marathon there we can run, right??)


thelma said...

Excellent recounting of your fun in Oregon! I'm with you on the beer, but I would be interested in a Gin Distillery over the Tequila one!
Still laughing about the wanker/box sauce fusion!
Must. Go. To. Portland.
The tourism board should pay you for this one, Jo!

Anonymous said...

I am with Thelma on the Gin Distillery!!!! I did a Niagara College beer tasting. It was so gross. LOL


Anonymous said...

Hi - I am really glad to find this. cool job!

Brenda said...

Freakin' hilarious post. Great memories...except for the beer part. (Thanks for posting that awesome picture of me, by the way). Tequila is definitely more our style, but I think we can do better than Tijuana.

I guess I regret not trying a VooDoo Doughnut...I mean, it's got bacon on it!!! How great is that?
AND...we should have gone into Hung Far Low for a cocktail. cktails.

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