Sunday, June 22, 2008

The Women of my Dreams


In 2004, after S.Rube was born, I was blessed with meeting the women of my dreams. I know that sounds a bit gay or perhaps cliche, but I guess it's true. Women friends are important. More important than just about anything really, I think. Because without women friends, I don't believe that we adequately feed ourselves with the energy and the understanding that only other women can provide. And, if we aren't getting that energy, we aren't giving that energy. So, our families suffer.
So, feed yourself. That's my theory.

I wanted important women friends in my life. I found them at the health unit. It was a casual "Mommy and Me" group, where we could sit in on 6 different info sessions with our new babies, and figure out what the hell we were doing. We were all first-time moms. We were all confused, scared, struggling and anxious to get back in shape. Every day of the week, we met to walk. We refused to sit solitarily in our homes with our babies becoming more and more isolated from the real world. After walking, we would sit in coffee shops for hours, monopolizing entire seating areas with strollers and breastfeeding to our heart's content. Anything, I think, some days, to not have to go home. We saved each other, in many ways.


I think there were 18 or so to begin with. After the 6 sessions ended, we began meeting at one of our homes every week, each taking turns to host the playdate and provide lunch for all the moms. Most of our playdates involved 12-16 moms and the same number of babies. All of the kids were born between May and November of 2004, the year of the Monkey.

Our group began to branch out further and we started to get together without the babies, too, creating a monthly Poker Night. We began participating in community activities together with the kids, such as joining a music class, or signing up for swimming lessons. We started to include the dads, too, and began to create tradition for the kids with an annual birthday party and Christmas gift exchanges. We held a "Name our Group" contest and the winner was "The Monkeys & the Ma-Ma Sisterhood", so we refer to the kids as the monkeys and ourselves as the Ma-Mas.

Today was our big Monkey birthday party. I always get a bit mushy after being with 'my Ma-Mas.' It's just so good. It is just so easy. And it's just so good. There are so many of us and so many possible combinations of relationships between us and, yet, there is never a problem. (almost never anyway). (and, if there were a problem, it is probably likely that I was involved).

I feel like I have 16 best friends. It's crazy. I would go to any one of you in a time of need and I trust you all implicitly. I am more myself when I'm with you than I am with anyone. I look forward to seeing you, and am aware when I've been neglectful and am in need of my 'Ma-Ma Time'. Sometimes I can't get enough of you. I love what we are creating together; not only for the children, but for us. Because, one day, our children will be grown up and gone. And, the only silver lining in that dark cloud is knowing that I'll still have 'my Ma-Mas'.

(Was it Mexico we decided upon? or Hawaii?)

(Peg, I missed you today. You're in my heart, doll.)

9 comments:

Magnolia said...

It's nice,really nice....admittedly- a little jelous.
And I agree that meaningful relationships with women do feed the soul and nurture us.
Good for you guys!!!

Magnolia said...

apparently I can't spell jealous.LOL

Anonymous said...

AMEN!! I ditto and ditto and ditto everything you've said!!
EC

J.Rube said...

Sue - don't be jealous (or jelous either). I'm sad that you're so far away. Know that we share something very very special, though, okay? I love you.

J.Rube said...

Ev - at first I thought you were replying to the Genetically Doomed post. teeeheeeheeee

Anonymous said...

Ok Miss J.Rube
I'm sitting at my desk reading this and the tears are folling down my face.
Tears of saddness -- cause I wasn't there with my "Ma-Ma's" for the annual birthday party....tears of joy -- because you all are the "women of my dreams" and I love and the girls so very much.
And tears of love -- that you NEVER forget me....well, you know I'd kill ya if you did. You're stuck with me for life.
Anyway -- it meant the world to me to have you mention me at the bottom...and I miss you too sweetie.
Oh and ---- It's Hawaii girlfriend.
Kathie and I will have your lounge chair waiting.
Love you
Ma-Ma Peg

J.Rube said...

Peg - just a reminder that Donna and Tammie will be there before me. (old bats)

Anonymous said...

I stand corrected.
Then while Kathie, Donna, Tammie and myself set up our stuff in Hawaii -- we'll be sure to save you a spot.
No geese biting, mink eating, chicken laying, etc animals allowed. LOL
XXX
Peg

Magnolia said...

Thanks for the confirmation of your love J. I do know we have something unigue and special. I never forget and never doubt it. I love you too.

I really am happy for you and your Ma Ma's. My comment was genuinely meant to convey that I think you are all so lucky to have such a committment to each other as individuals and a group. And I really do believe women know how to empower, support and feed each other's souls in a way men will never know or understand. So cheers to you and your Ma Ma's!!!

You should all be proud!!!

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