Showing posts with label Let's not fuck like bunnies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Let's not fuck like bunnies. Show all posts

Monday, March 17, 2008

Rabbits have it all figured out


Did you know...

1) ..a rabbit's gestation cycle is one month? One friggin' month!!!! Imagine getting to be pregnant
for one friggin' month?! ***


2) ..immediately after shooting their wee ones out, the rabbit mom flees the nest?And returns ONCE EVERY 24 HOURS FOR FIVE MINUTES to nurse their babies. Imagine how much we could get done in that 23 hours. Imagine how much sleep we could have in that 23 hours. How well-exercised and coiffed we might be, how well-dressed from our shopping trips and how much fun we could still be having at the bar with friends. Imagine how clean our houses might be. and how much uninterrupted computer time we could have.

Imagine how our boobs might still look.


3) ..the rabbit mom is free of her mothering duties within 3-4 weeks of giving birth?
This one speaks for itself. Basically, before we're even able to shit freely again, they're done with the entire process.



Which does bring me to the one obvious flaw in their whole system: The average female rabbit gets pregnant 10 times a year. bbwwahhhaaahhaaaahhaa

No thank you. You can have your conception plan and you can keep it. I'll take the 9 months and the sleepless nights and the lifetime commitment of blood, sweat and tears. (for the record, I won't just accept the boob part, though. or the stomach flap, for that matter, while we're on the subject of physical abnormalities. We gotta address those parts of the plan; maybe talk to somebody about getting that part changed.)



NOT!!!!



*** This reminded me (a bit bitterly) of my friend who didn't know she was pregnant for 5 months. I thought she had the shortest pregnancy ever in history. It was only 4 months long, similar to that of a goat!
I was wrong - apparently the rabbit's is shorter.

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